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Mrs. Fox

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The nights over Old New York are dark.

I remember it being said, once, that when the city was alive, it was ablaze with light to rival the sun. None but the eldest of the old know of that time, truly. When the deadwinds fly, and the spirits walk, as they do now and then, you can hear them moan of times gone by.

Well, at least, I can. I’m special, they say. I can hear the spirits. I can feel them, see their passing.

This is one of the nights; I can feel the deadwinds picking up. They’re different from regular winds, and I’m not sure how, save to say that the taste is of earth and death, of cold and dark. They steal your breath from your lungs, and bring icy shivers to your flesh.

I huddle deeper down into my blankets, patchwork things of cloth and fur, and squeeze my eyes tightly shut. I can hear the hsss-thump of limping steps, the whispering brushes of feet that don’t truly touch the ground. I can hear, distantly, the crackle and pop of the fire I’m sleeping beside. It sounds like it’s a million miles away, though I know perfectly well it’s just beside me. I can feel the heat burning my skin through the chill that cuts to the marrow of my bones.
My hair is blonde, and long, and I usually leave it down, but when the deadwinds blow, I always put it up. I don’t know why, but the women…they like playing with it. There’s nothing on this earth like the feel of ethereal fingers running through your hair to remind you to pin it tight. They say my hair is a vestigial reminder of a people that no longer exist; tall, blonde, fair-skinned people in a bitterly cold northland that was long ago swallowed by snow, then forgotten by time. Now, most people have brown skin, dark eyes, black hair. The blending of peoples to form…if not a unified race, a bunch of markedly similar ones. Maybe that’s why the spirits feel my hair. It reminds them of a place they knew, once.
The winds never last too long…five minutes, maybe ten. But five minutes of stark fear, such as that that I feel from them, is an eternity, trapped in the darkness, an instinct howling at you to OPEN your eyes and LOOK!…when you know the rotted visage you’ll see before you will scar your mind yet again.
When all goes quiet…when the deadwinds stop, that’s when I open my eyes, when I know it’s safe. Above, all I can see is a greenish-brown mist, what passes for clouds, now, and beyond, far away, the twinkling of dim stars.

My name is Mirjami.

And I walk with the dead.
* * *
I haven't posted in a year, give or take. But I make it a habit, on September 11th, to post.

Because they deserve, the fallen, to know they are remembered. They deserve to know that though our government has forgotten, their brothers and sisters, we the People, have not.

I could rant. But I won't. I don't think anyone could put it better than Alan Jackson did in his song "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)"
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

The greatest is love
The greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?

I was on my couch. I was asleep, on my couch, after a long night of drinking, and I was woken by my sister, on the phone, sobbing that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. Our world has never been the same...and it never well.

This is to the fallen.

This is to the survivors.

This is to the heroes.

We have not forgotten, and may all the gods cradle you close for what you went through, and what you did.

Thank you.
Current Mood:
sad sad
Current Music:
"Have You Forgotten" by Dierks Bentley
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http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/lists/by-name/index.html


It's been seven years. Seven years since American families gathered, dumbstruck by horror, and watched planes lance through the World Trade Center twin towers. Seven years since we watched the towers fall, silent, gathered at televeisions, or en masse in Times Square, watching on screens the size of tractor trailers. Why? we wondered. Why would anyone do this? For God's sake, there were babies in those buildings!

It's been seven years. We still have no answer. We still have no closure. Our loved ones, our friends and family, THEIR friends and family, died in vain. Even today, seven years later, I can barely watch the videos. I'm sickened by what happened, and I can't see through the tears. I'm now watching crowds, scenes I've never seen before. People crying out for lost friends, trying to hold on to SOME kind of familiarity, taking hands with people they've never met, seeking solace in humanity, in some kind of touch, leading each other out of the wreckage. Women, holding each other up, white with ash on skin grey with terror.

Babies still safe inside their mothers that day have grown up without fathers; some being held at home by Daddy have had to learn what it's like not to have a mother. Parents have buried their only childrens' clothing simply because there was nothing left to bury, and we have no reason. On that day, the smoke of two burning, falling buildings and the spirits of hundreds, thousands, blotted out the New York sun. And it was all for nothing. We've allowed them to prove that we are uncaring, or at best stupid. The men who perpetrated it are gone, but those that called for it are alive, well, and rejoicing in our complacency. Bush has won, and that sorrows me more than anything else about this horrible day. They call it "Patriot's Day". But these "patriots" died for a country that no longer cares. September 11th has moved from being a pivotal moment in our country's history to being a rallying cry for sheep to kill in a country innocent, at least of this particular atrocity.

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children. “
- President George W. Bush, November 11, 2001

You lie, sir. You lie, most abominably. You have seen to it that we forgot. We forgot the husbands calling their beloveds to say "Honey...I'm not coming home tonight. I love you. Tell the kids, I love them." We've forgotten the innocent children who never HAD a chance to say goodbye, who were snuffed out because of political actions they never could have had a part in. We've forgotten the wives and mothers screaming denials as they learn their husband, or their son, or their daughter, or their partner, is never going to hold them again, that they'll never have that chance to hear "I love you" or "It'll be all right."

And my heart especially goes out to those young couples, who fought, like couples do. And never made up. You have to believe, they knew. They knew you loved them. They knew hoe much they meant to you. Please, one day, find peace. Find security in the knowledge that while life moves on, you will see them again. You will be able to tell them "I'm sorry. I loved you so much. You made my life better, just by being in it."

To those brave few on Flight 93: You rocked. You gave your lives to save others, and you are heroes. I only hope that one day, I could be half as brave, as mighty, as you.

Yes, Bush. You won. You got your Saddam, at the price of our people, our men and women at home, our soldiers in the field. But I rest assured that you will one day face judgement for your actions, because your God demands it of you, and because no God would let your evil go unpunished. Yes, you are evil. You are callous, you are stupid, you are the basis of what is evil in mankind. And I take comfort that when you finally die, you will have to answer to every single one of these people. Forever. You will have to answer to them, and you will have to answer to those of us that AREN'T blinded by sheeplike patriotism. You're a liar, a murderer, and a fraud. And someday, you will pay.

For everyone else, it's been seven years. I still remember. For those that died, those that gave all, and those that had no choice: We still remember your sacrifice, and may you rest on laurels in the hereafter.
Current Mood:
numb numb
Current Music:
The screams of the crowds
* * *
When I tuck my daughter in at night, no matter what kind of a pain in the ass she's been, I look at her, and watch her sleep. I can still see hints of the baby she was so long ago, in her chubby cheeks or her still-tiny chin. And I love her so much it hurts. I couldn't imagine so much as putting a mark on her. Can someone please, please tell me how a mother can kill her child? I'm speaking specifically of Casey whatever the fuck her last name is, but generally of any mother that hurts her child. And why are we, as a society, not doing more to stop it? Or at the very, horrible least, to punish it when it DOES happen? Of all the people our system has failed, children like Caylee Anthony, or Michael and Daniel Smith, have come out the worse for it.

So this is for Alex. For all the children like her, children with mothers and fathers who love them so much that we would gladly lay our lives down if it meant saving them even one minute of pain. I pray that we can do something, somehow, to help these little ones. It's too late for Caylee, for Michael or Daniel. But maybe, just maybe, we can save even one child.
Current Mood:
numb numb
Current Music:
Pachelbel's Canon
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http://www.maniacworld.com/Why-Homosexuality-Should-Be-Banned.html

I don't know them, but I love them.

Also, movin' to Canada, WHO'S COMING WITH ME!?
Current Music:
The Daily Show
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Dear other drivers of Cortland (Or wherever):
I do not like people crawling up my butt when I'm driving. If you are behind me, and crawling up on me when I'm at or over the speed limit, I am going to do one of two things. Neither of them are speeding up.

One. I am going to slam on my brakes. Not to let you hit me, mind you. But enough to scare the shit right out of you. Bet you'll back off then!

Two. I am going to slow down to twenty miles an hour. Yes, even if the limit's 55. Why? Because it irritates the SHIT out of you. This tactic, it should be noted, will only be used if I'm on a road where you can't pass me. Preferably where there's oncoming traffic, just in case you get froggy.

Love, me.

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Ganked from [info]piepiracy314 by way of [info]political_macro
Current Mood:
amused amused
* * *
I have to say this, and I say it as a perfectly patriotic American (albeit one who thinks that the president is a hypocritical moron who needs nothing so much as to be pimpslapped into submission by a large black lesbian named Red)


It is time to suspend the Electoral College.

See, when there were a grand total of maybe 100,000 people here, it was a grand idea, given the lack of available communication and the likelihood of massive numbers of available parties. Now? not so much. We have two major parties (and, when he feels like being a swing-vote-stealing retard, Nader)and billions of people who are within seconds of each other in numbers of ways. It's time to stop letting the media pick our presidents, and make our votes *MEAN* something. Because in reality, what we have is a bunch of people who may or may not vote the way we tell them to....when we're perfectly capable of doing so for ourselves. Florida, I'm lookin' at YOU, bitches!


Also. I support Barack Obama, not so much as i'd have supported Hilary, but there you go. Let's be realistic for five seconds here, and the first person to call me racist is getting a foot in the ass. The man's never gonna see a presidency. Wanna know why? (I bet you already know) HE'S BLACK. No, I don't think that's bad. But I DO think that our lovely red-state, mouth-breathing majority, the same one that put this illiterate hillbilly in control of the Bomb, are not now, not ever, going to allow a black man, even one vastly more capable than fucking John McCain, to run this country.

There's always hope, I suppose. But I'm not exactly planning a Democratic victory party come November. I am, however, looking into moving to Canada.

The Queen Mother from a looooooong distance, I can deal with.
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
* * *
I've always had a picture of how my engagement was going to happen. There were wine and stars involved.

That's not exactly how it happened. Lee'd told me that the ring hadn't been sent out for sizing until Wednesday of last week, meaning it wouldn't be back for my birthday. I was a very sad Cat. So yesterday (MY BIRTHDAY!) we went to the mall. Hit Lane Bryant and Borders, but eventually we got frazzled and I ended up crying, sitting in the Jeep, and he was consoling me, standing outside my open door. As usual. He smiled a bit and said "I was gonna wait til we went to dinner to do this, but..." and got down on one knee, and there was my ring, in the box, and he was asking me to marry him.

I started crying. I'm so good with words.

So...yeah. And all day I had a very attentive, territorial man. It was great.

And what astounds me the most about this?

He got Alex to keep the ring a secret for half a week.

Current Mood:
loved loved
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